


Can't Drown My Demons

by NightWalker83



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Backstory, F/M, Flashbacks, Grief/Mourning, Lore - Freeform, Loss of Virginity, Men of Letters Bunker, Other, Repressed Memories, Research
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-10
Updated: 2015-03-10
Packaged: 2018-03-11 11:34:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3325952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NightWalker83/pseuds/NightWalker83
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Title based on Can You Feel My Heart by Bring Me The Horizon **I do not own that song nor Supernatural and its characters/plots/themes I only own my OC's and the story itself**<br/>.<br/>A drabble off of Double Trouble with Caylie and some of her memories to give backstory and a fill-in on the past of her and her sister, and some of Estelle's while spending a summer day in the Men of Letters bunker library to help Sam with research on a case.<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	Can't Drown My Demons

**Author's Note:**

> This was started after Chapter 3, so bear with if it doesn't match up, this is my thing alone and only has references as to what my two co-authors have written so far  
> .  
> Also, there is smut, but I have a line of asterisks above it and below it if you wish to not read that. Consider yourself warned.  
> .  
> Feedback is always welcome. Enjoy!

Warm summer sun breaks though my window, illuminating my old Union Jack blanket, which has been straightened like the rest of my tiny room in the bungalow I share with Kate and Estelle. The dreams came back last night, so no sleep for me. I should not be dreaming something like that. After a midnight tidying spree in here, I decided to study some lore for possible hunts out there. Kate is at work, and Estelle is, as per usual, putting in some hours volunteering at the community library. The house is quiet and empty save for me and the Simon and Garfunkel record playing from the turntable on my desk. I only half pay attention to the volume on Striegas on my bed, and the other half of my mind drifts to the skipping song. Curse the drunken carelessness of someone around my precious records. My phone goes off with the psychedelic rock sound of Pink Floyd, announcing that someone has decided to acknowledge me and send a text.

**SAM: HEY! Help with some research? Dean needs it for solo hunt. Can't get Cas down here. Can you help?**

_**ME: HEY BACK! Sure. Kate's at work. Estelle's volunteering. I'm lonely and bored out of my freaking skull. :P** _

Kate didn't have to know. She's just warming up to Sam, and cannot for a split second stand Dean. He reaaaaaally seems to get under her skin. 'Way too cocky and full of himself. A horny jerk who let dad die.' She says. They are gonna end up in bed together eventually. I just know it. Estelle and I already have bets on when. Another chime snaps my attention back with another text.

**Need a lift or directions? Come ASAP?**

_**Can leave now. Directions** **please.**_

I get up off the lumpy mattress with a groan and turn off the turntable before turning around to stuff the Striega tome and mom's journal into my bag and walk out the door, slinging the bag over my shoulder. The silence in this tiny house is deafening as I thud down the stairs and head for the door. Passing the rusty old Ranger that dad traded a few rather rare lore books to Bobby for, I slip into Jake's old 1971, red and rally striped Dodge Challenger RT, the leather seat cool against my skin. Once belted and the engine running, I check my phone again. Sure enough, a list of detailed enough directions to this mysterious bunker sat in a message bubble from that congenial moose of a guy.

The town is fairly busy for a midweek day. Summer settles in nicely around here. Not too hot, but just right. Michigan could get a bit warm, but I sort of miss the heavy winters, and mild weather farther north during this time of year. This bunker is only about 20 minutes from the bungalow, not too bad. Just on the outskirts of town, but not the styx, outskirts. I guess Sam's been waiting, because as I shut the engine off, a screechy metal door opens, revealing his rather large frame.

"Caylie! You made great time! Thanks for coming on short notice, I know this will probably be pretty boring too, but I appreciate the second opinion." I smile and nod, surprised when he comes and wraps an arm around my shoulder, pulling me into the doorway, and leading me down into this place Estelle has mentioned on rare occasions and the boys have claimed as home.

"Wow." I manage to get out, looking around at all that is around me. This place is amazing. More than amazing! Sam looks nervous, running a hand through his hair, letting it rest on the back of his neck, strong, toned muscles straining against that plaid shirt of his. Focus Caylie. I play a little with the ring on my finger as Sam clears his throat and lets his arm drop back to his side.

"I can give you the tour later if you want." He says, smirking after glancing at me, I must have awe written all over my face. It feels that way. "I just want to get this done and get Dean the information he needs." I nod and follow behind him as he stalks into a huge, and I mean HUGE library. Estelle would think she's died and gone to her own personal heaven. "I have a few theories as to what this thing is." He stated, sliding several printed reports my way. Each person was killed in similar fashion, a huge slash through the chest, liver and heart missing from each victim. This looked way too familiar. Sam is talking, but I can't seem to focus. I can only reread the cases, memories beginning to seep through the wall in my mind, the ghosts and demons from so many years ago....

_"Caylie Eliza Wesson!" My dad hollered, running to where I stood panting, blood splattered over my jeans, another lifeless corpse laying in front of me. So close. "What the hell are you thinking! That thing could have killed you!"_

_"I had my blade, dad." I replied, ducking my head at his temper, auburn locks falling into my eyes. Kate looks at me with concern._

_"Not an acceptable excuse." He said in a clipped tone. "Kate, remind your sister what Weimics are capable of." Kate looked at me sheepishly and recited the strength and brutality of the monster on our hands. "You both need to be more careful!" He shouted. "Your mother would be disappointed in you as well if you were so rash in such a dangerous position." Kate paled and I felt deflated. "We tail this thing and kill it-" A scream tore through the air, interrupting out argument. "GO!" he hollered. We ran to where the scream sounded, and a frightened woman ran off, leaving behind a leather clad man with shaggy ebony hair, a bloody knife being wiped off on his jeans, our target dead on the ground._

_"Hey. Guess you were the other feds on the case, huh? " He chuckled, sheathing the blade and holding out a surprisingly clean hand. "Jake Springfield, hunter and revenge seeker." He said with a smile. Dad stood dumbfouned. This guy couldn't have been any older than Kate, and was gorgeous._

_"Todd Wesson. These are my girls Caylie and Kate." Dad replied, shaking his hand gruffly. "Who's your daddy, boy?" Jake looked at him with a blank face._

_"The late Abe Springfield." he said. Dad's jaw visibly dropped._

_"A-Abe?" Jake nodded. "I haven't seen that man in years. He, John Winchester, and Bobby Singer are the three best hunters I know." Dad said. Jake's eyes flashed at the names, almost imperceptibly. "Please, have a beer with us." Dad said. Jake nodded....._

_....."So, how old are you.. Caylie?" He asked, leaning in towards me as they two of us waited for our drinks. I shook my head._

_"You first. Age." I said, looking into the most stunning grey eyes I had ever seen._

_"Twenty two. My birthday is October 17." He said. I nodded._

_"Twenty one. My birthday is February 13. Jake smiled, how handsome. "What?"_

_"You are very pretty. I reckon you'll be skipping town soon?"  I nodded._

_"Summer is when I can join in, Dad is vehement about getting school done. I have one more year." I said, reaching for the whiskey the bartender set in front of me._

_"An educated hunter, with a DEGREE?" He smirked._

_"Yeah." I said. "Mortuary. Can get close to a body without a fake I.D., thought it could help, and I can make good money if I ever leave this life behind." I say, swirling the amber liquid. He smiled and gave a low chuckle._

_" I would want to work live sound at concerts. If I ever got out, that is, but this is Daddy dearest's legacy, and I can't just ignore that." He said. I nodded, knowing what he meant._

_"It's my mom's too. She was amazing, and I hunt because it's the family thing, but I feel close to her."_

_"Hunt gone bad?"  I furrowed my brow. "Sorry, too far."_

_"No, it wasn't a monster. Well, monster like we usually see. Cancer. She died with end stage pancreatic cancer." I said, wrapping my free hand around the silver chain that was once hers._

_"I'm so sorry." I smiled up at him._

_"Me too, I was only two, so I don't really remember her, but Kate was six and shares what she was like on very rare occasions... Your dad sounds like an amazing guy from dad's stories about him." Jake took a drink and nodded......_

"Earth to Caylie! Come in Caylie!" Sam snapped his fingers in my face and I jumped, reaching for the gun that should be but isn't at my hip. "did you hear a word I just said?" Sam asked, hazel eyes staring straight into mine.

"Sorry. repeat what you said please." I say, averting my gaze and blushing as he shakes his head and rolls his eyes.

"And I though Dean could be bad at focusing." He said with a wink before sliding a book my way. "I am thinking either Weimic or something in that family, or some kind of dark summoned thing, more into the ancient magics." Sam has his fingers flipping pages through a section detailing Weimics.

"Not possible. A Weimic only hunts following the passing of a comet. Not a possible thing for the next..." I glance at a list of stellar activities outlined on my phone. "Three years. Besides, they go for women, fertile women." Sam is wearing a rather confused face before what I mean hits him.

"You mean that whole monthly....." I nod slowly and do my best to not laugh at the reddening on Sam's cheeks. "So what about something like it?" he asks, only to get my head shaking out a "no."

"All the same kind of thing. All act under certain astronomical activity." I pass him the list with the given monster next to it. All something dad had gone after at one point or another.

"What is the asterisked one?" Sam asks and all thoughts stop in their tracks. I pull my phone back and look. No.

"That. That was the monster that killed Abraham Springfield." Sam's brow furrowed again.

"The hunter?" I nod, trying to stay nonchalant and calm. "Bobby mentioned him a few times. I never met his son Jake, he pretty much vanished from sight after the news of Abe's death got around. They both were pretty famous. I know Ruby was scared as hell of Jake, same with Lilith and Meg Masters." I nod and go back to fiddling with the ring on my hand again as Sam shakes his head and flips the pages to the monster I have marked on the list. Another memory claws its way though the wall......

.... _The little intercom at the apartment door buzzed._

_"Cay. Get the door."  My roommate Tamera, or Tammy as she demanded to be called, hollered from where she worked on her chemistry textbook, the stack of texts daunting to both of us had her as a victim._

_"Can I help you?" I say, pressing the button and ending the annoying buzz._

_"Hey pretty lady. Mind letting a fellow hunter in?" Tammy looked up in confusion, before tossing a blade to me from out of a desk drawer._

_"Who is this?" I ask, the reply almost immediately._

_"Jake Springfield, who else?" Tammy and I shared a look before I tucked the knife in my jeans and grabbed my apartment key._

_"I'll be down in a second to let you in." I said, releasing the intercom button._

_"Be careful. Want some Holy Water?" Tammy asked. Amazing that you can meet other hunters with similar ideas. I shook my head before slipping through the door and walking down to the front door. Sure enough a smiling man in rugged leathers and torn jeans stood there patiently, a small grin playing on his face._

_"Hello there, Miss Wesson." He said, tipping an imaginary hat. I rolled my eyes, leading him to the stairwell. Up on the second floor landing I pulled the silver knife out and turned. He caught my arm as a brought it down. "Easy. I'm me. Look." he said, gently pulling the knife from my fingers and ran it across the side of his arm, leaving a normal cut. I relaxed and he let me go. "Smart to check, props." We continued up to the red door that marked my home for only a few more months. Apprenticeships were a pain in the ass. I opened the door and ducked. A strip of water coated Jake as Tammy held out a flask, as I had figured she would. Jake chuckled and rubbed his face. "Nice to know you still have this pistol here with you." Jake said and Tammy rolled her eyes and flipped him off as she returned to the textbook. "Speaking of pistols, how's that sister of yours?"_

_"Good. She and dad just finished up a Vampire case with Bobby and Lena about a week and a half ago." Jake nodded. "No missing limbs, nor major injuries."  A smile danced across those lips. I couldn't take it anymore. I grabbed his hand and pulled him towards my bedroom, shutting the door and locking it behind me before turning and crashing my lips into his, having missed the feeling and taste, and smelling that scent that was simply Jake. Gunpowder and aftershave, with a hint of musty old car smell. Jake groaned into the kiss as it deepened and we sunk onto the bed._

_"Babe, I have missed you so bad." He said, as the kiss broke, his lips still against mine. After tagging with us for a few hunts, I went back to school and he took off on a lead towards his dad's killer. After that, he had regularly appeared on my doorstep and one thing led to another, and we began dating. I smile at him, and the memory of his cheesy pickup lines during silent nights of research and dad's dirty looks._

_"I missed you too." I say, giving into the kiss again, my hand taking its own action and slipping beneath his shirt, hands running up and down the tone muscle, hitting a bandage. I broke the kiss and he wore a sheepish look. Before he could protest I shoved his jacket off and pulled his shirt up, he complied and pulled it over his head before tossing it aside._

_"Found the thing. Killed it. Lost a scuffle to the thing controlling it." He said darkly. The monster was under control, huh? Poor Jake. I got off the bed and grabbed my first aid kit from the closet. Jake flopped back against the union jack blanket below him, knowing what was coming. The bandages came undone and the gash began to trickle. "Stitches again." I nodded with my lips set in a grim line._

_"What am I going to do with you, Springfield?" I say, trying to go for a teasing tone. He smirked and shrugged._

_"Stitch away then. You know how much you like it, and how much your precision *pleases* me." I shake my head and thread my needle. Straddling his broad, muscular waist,  and feeling him harden beneath me and his jeans almost as soon as I settled, I swab the gash with a peroxide coated cotton ball and begin, his hazel eyes calmly watching me with the occasional twitch of his jaw giving away any pain......_

"Did you want one?" I looked up from the pages I was staring at.

"Hmm?" Sam stepped further into the room.

"I'm getting a beer, did you want one?" I smile up at him.

"Sure. Thanks." I reply, flipping the page and turning to pull out mom's journal while he's gone. It only takes Sam a few minutes before he's back with two cold, uncapped beers in his hands. "This may be a demon like creature." I say once he's seated again, pushing mom's journal towards him, the pages open to her notes on Nephalem.

"Human-demon hybrids?" He asks incredulously. I nod.

"Maybe, looking for some sort of ritual. Any connections amongst the victims? I ask, taking a sip and fiddling with the bent corner of a page, peeking at the entry. It was the one on blood hoodoo. The information detailing so much, and has been such a savior before.....

_.....The steel color of the sky above and the cool, crisp breeze seeped through the worn denim encompassing my shoulders. Jake adjusted his gun and looked over to Kate, who was taking a last glance at the clip in her hands, making sure that there was a devil's trap on each bullet before sliding it back into the gun._

_"Let's go." She said, and we crept into the old warehouse. Careful to mind the corners and stay out of sight. There were three Nephalem standing around an unconscious blonde, her head lolled to one side. Kate signaled for each of us to cover while she tried to get the girl, eyes flicking over the discarded weapons on the ground, and the sign of a protection sigil inked onto her wrist. As two Nephalem turned to an altar to begin an incantation, Jake twisted a silencer onto his gun. The third slapped the blonde awake and growled something into her ear which had her struggling at her restraints, a blade glinting against her neck. One Nephalem fell down, causing the second at the altar to stutter in their incantation and receive a gripe from the third. Kate was somewhere behind the blonde, slinking along the wall, avoiding notice. Jake shot down the second Nephalem, holding the knife, and the girl began whimpering in fear. The last turned and muttered something, a gash appearing along my side. Suddenly the Nephalem was on Jake and I. He reached through the gash, searing pain coupled with the feeling of tearing as the Nephalem pushed farther into my chest. Suddenly there was a yelp and he fell, hand retracting and Jake's sure voice recited a reversal from mom's journal. I lay feeling numb, waves of pain aftershocks ringing through my body as the third and finally dead Nephalem was pulled off of me and I was helped into a standing position. We looked down to see Kate helping the now freed blonde collect her weapons, another hunter......_

_"My name is Estelle Smith." She had said once they were all back to Kate's mustang and we were cleaning up. "My parents were hunters from North Dakota." She stated._

_"Are you all alone?" I asked. Estelle nodded,_

_"Take me to get my car?" she asked. Kate placed a hand on her shoulder._

_"Sure."  Kate was itching to say something, but withheld. Jake helped me into the back and then slid in with me, the seat being pulled up behind him, allowing Estelle to sit. The ride was full of quiet small talk about hunts and monsters, and Kate seemed uneasy, just like Jake and I. Estelle was a bit too tight lipped about her background. Was she a Nephalem or a Demon?_

Sam began coughing and it made me jump. I sheepishly pat his back until the coughing stops, he gives an appreciative smile and turns back to his research.

"The trick is to not breathe and swallow at the same time. I say with a wink. He shakes his head and nudges me. "Hey! What was that for?"

"Being a smartass." he says, a smile widening his whole face and causing the corners of his eyes to crinkle a little bit. I fake being insulted and he just rolls his eyes and laughs again. "Wanna try telling me if you found anything?" I shake my head and shrug. We both sigh and return to the pages in front of us, but my mind doesn't want to focus, but rather flips to yet another memory....

_.....Dresses were never, ever my thing, but Jake had said that it was a night to be fancy, so the little black cocktail dress that haunted the back of my closet faced the light of day for the first time in a long time. Just like the fact that dad or Kate didn't have a hunt for us, and there was peace. I pulled my recently curled hair back into a half down hairdo and slid some gloss along my lips, stealing the chance to take a good look at myself in the mirror. My now pulled back auburn hair fell to my waist and in a fringe of stubborn bangs that covered yellowy, green eyes rimmed by dark lashes. My skin was pale, paler than Kate's with a few minor scars hidden under the makeup I chanced for tonight. My face was a more rounded oval, and my frame was average; all five feet four inches of me was as pale as my face and littered with scars and freckles, some muscle and a slight pudginess playing at my body, no matter how many crunches I did. Kate said mom once called it the 'Dickinson Curse' while talking to dad about an old dress she didn't fit into anymore, too bad I didn't have the beanpole genes from the Wesson side of the family. Kate showed up with a smug grin and held out a pair of heels._

_"He's here. Curfew's tomorrow before nine, dad's due to show up then." She winked and I swatted at her shoulder._

_"Why are you hell bent on Jake and I having sex? I seriously do not understand."_

_"Maybe you'll loosen up? It's a fact and act of adult life, hon." She said, giving a look of 'are you dense' and turned to go back down the hallway of our childhood home. I followed her out and almost Walked right into Jake, who was wearing the jacket from the suit he 'kept just in case he had to use the whole federal agent trick to get information.' I swallowed hard and he smiled. Formal dates were never our thing, just randomly getting together to shoot the breeze and maybe make out a bit was as far and as formal as things ever got. "Have fun you two." Kate said with an obnoxious tone and wriggling eyebrows, I wanted to give here what for, but just smiled and took Jake's hand as he led us out the door and to the old Challenger sitting in front of the house._

_"You look pretty today. No blood splatters, no newly opened gashes, very nice." I laughed._

_"Hey, same goes for you, no grease, motor oil, or blood? I am all for that." He nudged me and I nudged back, both of us laughing as he shut his door and I shut mine. he caught my lips in a quick kiss as he turned the engine over._

_"Seriously, you do look very beautiful tonight." He said, smiling and stealing small glances periodically while navigating the quiet streets of  Port Huron's suburbs. I blushed in the dark quiet of the evening and looked over at him._

_"Where to tonight, poppet?" He smirked and never took his eyes from the road._

_"That is to be a surprise, pretty lady." I huffed and sat back, watching the world go by past his silhouette. It was easy to tell his nose had_ _been broken at least once before, and a faint scar danced along the line of his jaw on the left side of his face. Dark eyebrows sat above his mesmerizing hazel eyes, curtained my surprisingly long lashes, and pale skin found color on two mildly plumped cheeks that flowed into lips that were gentle with a kiss and spread so easily in grimaces and smiles. his teardrop shaped face came to end with a softly rounded and dimpled chin, and a strong jawline that seemed to vanish into the shaggy and somewhat spiky shock of dark hair atop his head. "See something you like?"  he asked, and I realized that I had been staring at him, studying his features like I honestly caught myself doing a lot._

_"Maybe," I said, scooting next to him on the slippery bench seat, and kissed his cheek. He chuckled and turned onto a mostly hidden dirt road, I could smell a bit more of a seaweed-y smell and the trees around us were thinning out and being replaced by tall grasses. He finally came to a stop as the blue of Lake Huron sat in front of us. he parked and got out, opening my door for me and leading me to a blanket that held a basket and a few candles which he promptly lit. He sat down on the blanket, then took off his suit coat, loosened his tie, and rolled up his sleeves. I came to sit next to him and laughed." care to explain?"_

_"I had to throw you off a little to make the surprise well, a surprise." I laughed and he shrugged and reached inside the basket, pulling out a bottle of wine and two glasses. "Miss Wesson" He said and he passed a now filled glass to me....._

"What are you focused so hard on?" a voice asks as I feel a hand shaking me. I look up and Sam is looming over me with concern in his eyes. I shake my head.

"Just drifted into my own mental quarters, I guess." I say. "Sorry, Sam. Find anything?"

"Not really. I think we're headed into the right direction with you mom's notes on blood hoodoo. I hope you didn't mind my paging thought a bit" I nod and he purses his lips. "is a witch or some other thing using it?" He says, beginning to pace and taps a pencil to his temple.

"What has been going on with the area?" I ask. he stops in his tracks and flies to his laptop.

"Of course!" He is now glued to the screen and his fingers fly furiously across the keys. I look back down at the pages in front of me, my mind going back to that night on the edge of Lake Huron....

_....."So," Jake said, after a second glass of wine and a dinner of an Italian dish I had taught him to cook not long after we began going out and he randomly stopped in after a hutn, having taken to making it his post-hunt routine to show up unannounced to wherever I was residing. "Tell me what you are thinking." He rested his hand on my knee and I sipped from my glass, looking out onto the lake._

_"I am thinking this is special and romantic, and that I never want to forget this." I said, smiling and turning to face him.  He looked down and my eyes followed his down to a small box sitting in front of his lap._

_"I wanted to make the three year anniversary of our meeting something special." He said, "Because that was the day the world changed an_ _d I wasn't just seeking revenge, but a place to live a little bit of an apple pie life with you. I saw you and fell head over heels. I love you, and because of that, I promise myself to you, and that someday, if you'll be so happy and willing to be my bride, and share the rest of your forever with me, we'll get married and maybe make this life more of a hobby and less of a job. You and me. I promise." Jake said voice low and eyes glued to mine as he opened the tiny box, revealing a simple silver band with an anti-possession mark engraved into it. I felt myself smile and he took my right hand. "Wear this for protection and our promise. It's made of pure silver, and the inside has a few other protective sigils and symbols to keep you safe." He said, slipping the ring onto my finger where it shimmered in the candlelight._

_"Oh. How beautiful." I gasped and looked at it closer, while Jake scooted to look down at as well._

_**********************************************************************************************************_

_"Anything for my love." He whispered, bringing his lips, at last, to mine. I could never tell how long we stayed like that, but the kiss slowly deepened, and became more passionate, but still remained gentle, I began to feel a warmth in my gut and core, pooling as to not be ignored as our tongues made slow work of once again learning each inch of the other's mouth. Eventually we broke away, lips slowly and gently dragging apart, only to come together again in an open mouthed kiss. Summoning every ounce of courage I took and dragged his lower lip into my teeth and nipped gently. He grunted in surprise before bringing his hands to my hips. I let my hands wander over his back and shoulders, fingers slipping to remove his tie as our kisses continued with more heat, the clip holding my hear came out next, as Jake's_ _tongue made its way along my neck to a spot he had found once before when making out got hot, and it felt oh so good as he licked and nibbled there. Between my legs became hot and damp as he continued and I silently thanked my lucky stars that I had chosen to not deal with stockings. My hands made easy work of undoing the buttons of his shirt before his hands caught mine. "Are you sure?" he asked once he broke or kiss. I nodded eagerly, not trusting my voice and he stood, scooping me up in his arms. " Public don't need a show." he grunted, heading towards his car. Once we were effectively in the back seat he looked at me as I bit my lip._

_"Do you have something?" I asked he nodded and reached into the glove box, pulling out a foil packet._

_"I'll go slow and easy baby doll, It's my first time too." He murmured as his eyes deftly read the apprehension and fear in them. He gave a gentle kiss and we proceeded once more. Fingers hitched up under the hem of my dress and a hand snaked to the sipper, causing the material to vanish from my body before my mind could process it, and Jake let out a groan that only increased the heat between my legs at the lingerie he saw. The bra soon vanished and his eyes grew darker, using one hand to knead a breast while his mouth sucked and nibbled on the other until he returned to my lips and from there began to nibble my earlobe. All the while, my hands slid below the unbuttoned shirt and slipped the fabric off his strong shoulders to reveal a tone and pale chest, riddled with scars and a few protective tattoos, heaving with as much arousal. His member pressed against my heated center and strained against his jeans, begging to be freed as my hand snaked down and gently undid the button, dragging down the zipper and eliciting a moan and my name as my knuckles made contact with a pulsing hard length just below the cloth of his boxers. Suddenl_ _y two fingers ghosted my thigh and slid its way into my panties, tugging them down gingerly, then returning his stray hand to my now soaked core, one finger rubbing circles against my clit while the other ran along my folds, causing gasps and moans to escape my mouth as his lips found my sweet spot again. I let my mind go fuzzy with pleasure as my hands wrapped around the shaft of his cock, pumping at a medium pace and earning satisfied grunts, his mouth leaving my neck to look at me, his eyes dark and hooded with lust and arousal. without warning he slipped in one finger, pumping and curling it a little, my hips raised to meet his fingers of their own volition and I squeaked from shock. The squeak evolved into moans and I quickened the pace around his member as he growled and added another finger and making me gasp. Randomly his hand vanished from my womanhood, leaving it aching with arousal as a tightness lay in my lower belly._

_"Fuck!" You learned from Tommy and his bragging, didn't you?" I managed to say, and he let out a dark chuckle" His free hand grabbed the one I had wrapped around his dick, stopping my actions. A light kiss was pressed to my lips and his eyes looked into mine, as if searching for any last hesitations or refusals, removing my hand, and placing it into his hair, I took the hint and twisted strands around my fingers._

_"Say the word and I stop" he said gently. Pressing a kiss to my lips as he lined himself up with my center, pushing in slowly and murmuring sweet nothings into my ear, as I tried to focus on his words. The stretching feeling and the minor pain subsided after a few kisses and Jake's soft, rumbling voice continued to mumble sweet things, and I looked up at him, chewing my lip. "Do you want me to move?" he asked, and I gave a small nod, feeling him slowly draw himself almost all_ _the way out before gently thrusting back in, keeping a slowly climbing pace that had us both moaning and groaning, and swearing. As he picked up the pace, he brought my leg around his waist, changing the angle and allowing the change in angle and contact to bring me even more pleasure, quickly making me feel that knot in my lower abdomen tighten in warning._

_"J-Jake, I- Clo-I'm Close!" I had managed to grunt out, as wave after wave of pleasure filled my body, making each sense kick into a bit of overdrive._

_"Me too, baby. " He grunted, just as I felt the knot break and the high of an orgasm hit me like a huge wave, and I called out his name and any profanity my short circuited mind could fathom while I felt and heard Jake hit the same and we both floated down in ecstasy before separating and catching our breaths. after removing the used condom, Jake pulled me into a tight hug and wrapped his shirt around me, and pulled up his jeans. "I love you." He said, pressing a kiss into my hair and pulling me into a cuddly embrace as we lay there, drowsiness overtook me, and the glow of warmth around us made my eyes droop to the strong and sure sound of his heart..... **********************************************************************************************************_

I realize that I'm still spacing out over the same book when Sam had begun searching his laptop. His beer is empty and there's a map sprawled out with a few new marks on it and Sam's stilled glued to his laptop. I shake my head and take a swig of my beer. I let my eyes graze over a few pages before sighing. and using my foot to nudge Sam's chair. "Find anything good?" Sam's head jerks up and snaps over to where I'm sitting. He looks at me and almost imperceptibly lets out a breath as if I've startled him. He shrugs and then gestures towards the map in front of him. "Possible Demonic omens in the surrounding area, as well as in a trail along that state and several others, all linked to similar cases. It sounds like a pretty big demon act, and maybe something that will hold some information about other demonic hot spots. I texted Dean to let him look into either, and get back to me." I nod and stand up for a slight stretch. "Want me to keep looking for some stuff on blood hoodoo then?" I ask and Sam pauses before nodding and waving his hand in the general direction of some shelves and mumbling about needing a better organizing system around there.

There are tomes and volumes galore, ancient and worn, or pristinely aged. The Men of Letters were surely major scholars, but their organization was lacking. Maybe I could get Sam to get Estelle down here. For her, it would be a cinch to make this place function like an efficient top. I find a couple of books and make my way along the strong wooden shelves and back to the table where Sam is still hunched over his laptop and reaching for the map....

_"Hand me that book, Cay." Kate said from her seat where we studied, spending some time at a local pub near home. I slide the book over and watch her flip through a few pages before just flopping down the book and go back to her drink. The door swung open and a familiar blonde stepped through the door._

_"Estelle! What brings you here?" I said, her head snapping in my direction. She visibly relaxed and quickly made for our table. Glancing apprehensively at Kate, she sat in a chair I pushed out._

_"I need your girls' help." She said, reaching into her knapsack and pulling out a sheaf of papers. "I found a vampire case, but I can't take it on alone."_ _I began paging through when Kate's hand snapped up the whole thing from my hands. I rolled my eyes as she thumbed through the pages._

_"We'll help. On one condition." Estelle cocked her head to the side and looked at her. "You hunt with us. Keep your ass alive. We are down a man right now anyways." Kate said, without glancing up._

_"Fine." Estelle said. "Where is the young man, Jake, I believe?" she glanced at me. I twisted that silver ring around my finger and sighed._

_"He's on a separate hunt with our dad. We came here to change pace while doing research for them." I said, eliciting a nod. "Why don't we head back home then? Dad won't mind you sticking with us," I say, standing and making my way to the bar. Estelle followed and watched as I paid the tab. "Between us, dad actually chewed Kate out for letting you go off by yourself again." Estelle gave a perplexed look. "Your last name is Smith, but your mom's maiden name is Lucinda, right?" Estelle nodded. "Dad I guess grew up with your mom, was a neighbor of hers, and they both grew up hunters. He wants to watch out for you for her, since they were close friends. She introduced our mother to him, I guess." I say, recalling the afternoon dad told us about the Lucinda family, and how if it weren't for Marianne, he would have never met mom._

_Back home we pulled her car into the garage alongside Jake's Challenger, seeing as they'd taken dad's ranger. Kate unlocked the hidden stairway to the panic room below the garage and we carefully took Estelle's arsenal down there and stocked a shelf with it, alongside where Jake had stored his unneeded stuff in case something happened in the garage. We set Estelle up with her few belongings in the old den made a bedroom/library and began working on research for the new case....._

Bon Jovi's "Dead or Alive" breaks the silence garishly as my phone alerts me of an incoming call. A funeral home's name sits in the caller ID.

"Avery and Wesson Mortuary, Caylie speaking." I say, pulling out a folder of worksheets and a pen from my bag. "Hey there Genette, how are things over at Williamsons' lately?" I say in response to the tired sounding woman on the other end of the line, the sole female undertaker at a home on the eastern seaboard. "45 from a car accident?" I begin filling in spaces to the worksheet from the information being given. "When are you getting him from the M.E.? Okay, and when are services scheduled for?" I flip to a calendar portion and jot the dates down before going back to the worksheet. "I can see about having one of us out there by Friday then. Email me the information and the pictures and we'll go from there." I feel eyes on me and glance over to Sam, who is just watching and listening to what I'm saying. I make a face at him and give a quick 'mmhmm' at Genette's babbling on. He silently laughs, his shoulders shaking with a light smile playing on his lips. "Okay then. Well, I will see you and Mr. Hardy on Friday. Take care Genette. Bye." I say and end the call, quickly dialing Tammy's number and get the voicemail. "Yes, you are on a Salt and Burn, but we have a job in Maine on Friday, I'll take it to get out of Dodge for a bit. Be safe, Tam. Bye." I say and hang up, tucking everything back into my bag. I look at Sam who is still staring, but shaking his head. "What?"

"How?" I give him an unimpressed look. "How do you manage all that?" He says waving his hands as if to illustrate the point.

"How do you manage to survive Dean while rocking the Rapunzel look?" I retort, and earn what Dean had once referred to as Sam's 'bitch face'. "Exactly, you just do. Have you found anything good?" I ask. Sam rolls his eyes and turns back to the laptop. "Be nice and I'll take you with me." I mumble and he huffs out another laugh....

_Dad's humming drifted from the kitchen where he stood at the stove, flipping pancakes and bacon, the table already set with the coffee pot still brewing the sweet nectar of the gods. I felt like a kid again, on the morning dad got home from a hunt that went fairly well, happy to see that Kate had taken care of the house and me. He smiled as I shuffled in and poured us each a cup of black coffee._

_"How are you, Sweet Pea?" he asked. I smiled at him._

_"I've been better." I say. He gave a sad smile and pulled me into a hug. "Today makes it six months, doesn't it?" I said with realization dawning. Dad nodded and moved to pull the pan off the stove. Dropping the pancakes onto a plate._

_"We have a hunt today, if you're off, not too far away. Just a quick exorcism of the local demon." He said, pouring more batter for the next plate._

_"I'm free. Where's it at?"  Dad glanced up with his eyes flashing to Kate standing at the door._

_"The old boat factory in Mt. Clemens" My eyes widened._

_"Not there again." I said quietly, but Dad grimly nodded. Six months before Dad had taken  us on a small demon case after Samuel Colt's Devil's gate was opened by a few young and foolish hunters further out in the country, and a few demons were making trouble in town. Jake had gone scouting ahead...._

I flip through a few pages, numbly, thinking about rain and blood, and the night in the factory, not noticing the tears blurring my vision until it's too late. My chair scrapes against the wood floor as I wander to the safe privacy of the shelves as the night I have kept locked in my heart and mind, chained like the most vicious beast, tears to the forefront of my mind and my heart feels as though it's being ripped from my chest and shattered all over again.....

_"Jake?" I hollered into the empty warehouse. "JAKE!" The sky flashed a warning of an impending storm, the wind stilled and the air stifling as it seemed to cling with the energy of awaiting tumult. I turned to move to the next warehouse when a faint rasping, almost undetectable, caught my attention and had me running for the back corner of the darkened space. The ceiling shook with the ferocity of the thunder outside, loosening some dust from its home in the rafters. My hands shook and my feet clumsily carried me across the cracked and stained pavement. The beam from the flashlight in my hand danced with the tremors of my body, bouncing off walls and piles of junk, finally landing on a bloody body, barely breathing, pale beneath the grime and blood. Bile rose in my throat and my heart seized in my chest. I couldn't speak to call out to Kate or Estelle, or anyone for that matter. I screamed, letting out the fear and pain, running to his side._

_Gashes and cuts littered his body, seeping and weeping from various places. A strike of lightening revealed the true paleness of his face, ashen like death's cruel fingers, colder than a snowbank in December. My body still shook, though numb with shock, with silent sobs. There was not a way out. He had lost too much blood this time, I could feel it, as if I could just feel him slipping away from me._

_"Jake! Jake, baby look at me, open your eyes, please baby, look at me." I managed to get out with my voice cracking, tears defiantly beginning t_ _heir journey down my face. His eyes faintly fluttered and his chest faintly moved with each labored rasp. Finally hazel greeted my green. My fingers stroked his cheek and smoothed his hair, his eyes clouded with confusion before relizing who was talking to him. His mouth formed the words 'Caylie' and his eyes filled with pained sorrow. He knew, and he knew I knew too. I had warned him to not do this, to take someone with him, but he had assured me that it would all be okay. I should have insisted on going with him._

_"C-Caylie." He said, voice ragged and tears threatening his beautiful eyes. I pulled his hand to my mouth and kissed it before nuzzling into it, never taking my eyes of his. "Never, never forget m-me. Or my love for you." I shook my head, no voice to trust as I silently cried, feeling my heart crack. "I don't think this is something you can stitch up and make okay, baby. I'm sorry." He managed before wheezing a little. "Caylie Eliza Wesson, promise me something." He said, weakly running his thumb across my check and sweeping away a tear. I nodded._

_"Anything, baby. I'm here." Faint footsteps told me that the others weren't far away. Jake's pale face was whiter in the next lightening strike, and a ragged sob that broke from both our lips was nearly swallowed completely by the thunder above us._

_"Promise me that you'll always remember me." He said before weakly coughing. "Prom-promise me that you will never stop loving me. I promise I_ _will love you every day until the end of time, living or dead. I love you." I nodded, tears falling faster now, as his breath rattled, his death rattle. "Be mine, one love in one lifetime. I will be waiting for you, always loving you. Avenge that rat bastard, baby. Don't let this be in vain. I love you Caylie. Promise me." I nodded my head vigorously._

_"Yes." I croaked. "I promise. I love you too and that will never change. You'll forever be in my heart Jake Springfield. I love you, please, don't leave me. Stay, we'll get that apple pie life, we'll get out and make everything better." Kate's voice was yelling, almost unintelligible over the rolling thunder and the wind that began to pick up speed._

_Jake coughed, blood speckling his pale lips. "Not in the cards, beautiful." He said, his face was colder, he was slipping away, the light behind his eyes duller, but still clinging. "I love you." He repeated, barely a croak more than a rasp, before he gave a shuddering breath and let it go, not inhaling again._

_"I love you too, now and forever." I whispered, closing his eyes. The tears fell freely as rain poured down from the steel grey sky. I let my sobs get swallowed up by the rain and the thunder, a hole in the ceiling drenching me and the body in my arms. He was gone. Just like that. Taken away. I don't know how long I sat with his body before they found me. I don't even know who pulled me into their arms. I was too numb. My heart had been ripped out and had died with him._

_That night, after the storm had cleared, under a starlit sky, we gave him a hunter's funeral. Numbness wracked my body as his laid on the pyre, fla_ _mes licking the sheet we had wrapped him in. I felt as though I should be curled up there with him. After everyone had left, I sat in the grass, surrounded by the fireflies, watching the embers die. He was long gone, no body to return to, he was gone for good. I drew a vial from inside my pocket and knelt beside the ash, scooping some into the small glass tube, not caring about my hands being burned by the angry coals. I fell asleep there, I think, waking to the sound of my father placing the cooled ashes into an urn, a few low sobs escaping his own lips. I had seen the pain in his eyes as the grey soot stained his hands as he scooped the remains of my lover, my true love, into the cold metal container before sealing the lid and wiping his eyes._

_As the numbness faded in the following days, sorrow set in. I cried for days, not caring to eat or do much more than stare at the pages of glos_ _sed photographs depicting his smiling face from days gone by; at the drag races where his car had taken first place, at a concert we had gone to see of a favorite band, at the city fair in Paradise, and so on, curled up on the back seat of the Challenger that now sat as lifelessly in our garage. That same place where we shared love, I now mourned for that same love, now lost....._

I wipe furiously at my eyes as Sam calls out for me to grab a certain book from a shelf. I find it and hastily hand it to him, before asking in as even of a voice as I can muster where the nearest bathroom is. He answers calmly as he thumbs through the book, in search of a certain section, and I do my best to calmly exit the library before running down the hall in the direction told. Upon entering the tiled space, I take a deep breath and lock the door, fighting to keep control of the emotions that had been bottled for so long. Silently praying that he cannot hear me, I finally let myself cry, sobbing muffled into my arms as my fingers snake to that vial of ashes, strung around mom's chain at my neck....

_Machines beeped evenly as I sat at the foot of Kate's bed, staring into space and playing with the ring on my finger. The shrapnel coming off of a grenade from one of the Blue Cult Killers had managed to pierce several vital organs in my older sister's body, leaving her in comatose from being thrown against a wall with the blast. Dad had suffered broken bones and was in a panic about Kate. My stitches itched on my forehead. Why had those damn demons used a fragging bomb? Why no_ _w? I looked at my unconscious sister. It had been three days since she had been admitted into the ICU. There were tubes and wires everywhere on her, and there was no sign that she was going to wake up and demand to be released any time soon. I knew she was there, just distant. It wasn't like.... My hands moved to the necklace and ashes of their own volition. A clearing throat made me focus. Dad stood in the doorway._

_"Hey, Sweet Pea. She still not awake?" He said, his hand not imprisoned in a cast running through his dirty blonde hair. I shook my head and slowly stood, walking to him and just giving him a hug. Usually he was not very huggy, but he squeezed back tightly. Something wasn't right. "Lena will be here soon. Why don't you get a cup of coffee with here when she arrives?" He suggested, knowing that the last few days had not been spent very far from either one's bedside. I numbly nod, raising my head to see the familiar brunette haired girl clomp up behind my father._

_"Hiya, Todd, Caylie." She said, blue eyes running over the casts on dad's body and the bandages on mine. "Looks like you guys had fun. Aphesophelies and his flyboys, I take it?" Dad silently chuckled and shook his head._

_"Blue Cult." Was all he said, and Lena knowingly nodded, having been the one working research while her dad was off somewhere. "Why don't_ _you get Caylie out of here for a bit. She needs some coffee." He said, pushing me through the door and taking the bag Lena held in her hands. "Please tell your dad I said thank you, hon." He smiled and Lena calmly nodded, while the pit in my stomach grew deeper. I hugged my father one more time._

_"Love ya, dad." I whispered, and he patted my back._

_"Love you too, kiddo, now go." He said, gently pushing me out the door. With a backwards glance at his drooping form, I followed Lena down the hall as she began telling me about some story about a jackass hunter who had tried to pull some stunt while her dad was gone......_

The tears wouldn't stop. There was too much. I never really remembered mom, or the day she died, besides Kate crying. That was one of the only times she ever did. She had always cared for me when dad was away, or Bobby. Kate didn't like talking about mom, and claimed to not remember, contrary to what her drunken self might share. I was too little to understand that mommy was sick, and only knew that she was with Jesus and his angels. I only began to grasp it after I was older, and Bobby told me some truths while dad took Kate on her first hunt. I continue to cry, feeling that clean and new feeling seep into the edges of my consciousness, that feeling of control, before allowing my mind to just go to the memory of that last time with dad....

_As Lena walked me back to the room, she gave me a sad look and told me to call her soon, and that she expected the call. I nodded and walked into the room where they had insisted my father stay, even with his stubbornness and wandering around. He sat on his bed smiling at me wearily and raised an arm, signaling me to sit next to him._

_"How was coffee?" He asked, earning a shrug; that pit still nagged, even harder, the bad thing was close. "Caylie, can you do me a favor?" He asked, closing his eyes as he spoke, his arm still around me._

_"Sure, dad. What do you need?" I had asked, looking up and his green eyes meeting mine._

_"Make sure your sister is okay, and keep her out of too much trouble, okay. She needs to uphold the Wesson title, like you do your mothers' family." I nodded cautiously._

_"I'm sure she'll not cause too much issue from her bed." I said, feeling like I was missing something big and bad. Dad smil_ _ed minutely and nodded._

_"You look so much like your mother." He said. Dad, like Kate, rarely spoke of mom, though her pictures were hung about the house and her things never did get packed up like Dad always wanted to do. I blushed and brushed back my hair. "She would be proud of you, both of you." He continued. "You have become such strong young women." He said. "Never forget how much she loved you, how much we both love you." He said, giving me his 'dad' look. That smile that quirked to the side and a tender light to his eyes. I hugged him again. A knock on the door startled both of us._

_"Mr. Wesson?" A kind looking nurse asked. Dad looked up and smiled politely, "Your other daughter in the intensive care unit has just woken up and is asking for you and her sister?" He nodded and smiled, standing up before pulling me up and saying,_

_"Let's go see Kate." I nodded, only feeling the pit in my stomach, no excitement whatsoever. Kate seemed somewhat dazed to be awake and I just felt anxious. Something was about to come to a head. Dad whispered a few things to Kate, murmuring quickly and with a nervousness into here ear, before giving her a hug and standing upright again. "I'm going to get a newspaper, I think, so we can pass the time waiting to get Kate cleared." He said, giving us both long looks before walking_ _out of the room. Kate and I exchanged glances._

_"How are you?" I meekly asked, glancing back at the door and twisting the ring around some more. Something was off. Kate shrugged._

_"Alive." She had said. Hollering in the hall startled both of us. We shared another glance and I slipped out of the room, leaning back to grip the knob at the sight before me. Dad was on the floor, shirt wide open with the staff trying to resuscitate him. He was flat lining. Finally, they called it. I cleared my throat and stepped up to the doctor._

_"Sir, are you taking him to the morgue?" The doctor nodded._

_"Are you next of kin?" I nodded, giving my name and gesturing to my sister's room. They offered to give an autopsy but I declined, only giving him my business card from the local home I was working at, and went to get Kate discharged. The process was_ _quick, but Kate was silent the whole time after I confirmed what she feared. That night we had picked dad up in the funeral home's van. It was Tammy's family, so they were pretty gracious about us giving dad a private hunter's funeral. As we stood at the pyre, the second in too soon of time, Kate finally spoke._

_"The Winchesters were meant to take that hit. The cult was waiting for them. Those damn demons were looking for them and it ended up being us. The leader was Jake's killer...." She said, taking a swig of some bottle she had carried out. Lena, who was not to far when dad passed, sat on Kate's other side and rubbed her shoulder. "The leader was dad's killer. I know it. I was about to go see mom and just go." My blood chilled. Dad was in hell, then....._

A soft knock sounded at the door as I wipe my eyes, my sniffles fading. Sam's voice calls out to get my attention to hurry up, he has something. I let out an affirmation and stand up, wiping my eyes again and splashing some cold water after his footsteps retreat down the hall. Once satisfied that I look calm and not like I had been crying, I re-enter the library. Sam looks up with a smile and points at a single paragraph in the book I had left open.

"You are a genius, Wesson." He says. I look down, a single passage on bodily sacrifices for certain abilities to further strengthen supernatural beings capable of hoodoo or humans looking for costly gain. As I lean to read, the vial on mom's silver chain hangs out from my neck, the glint of light on the glass catching Sam's eye. "What's that?" He asks, pointing at the vial full of grey ash. I freeze, looking at him with pain and memories coursing through me.

"It's Jake Springfield." I say simply, standing upright and tucking the necklace back into my shirt. Sam opens his mouth with curiosity written across his face and I hold up my hand. "Please, I do not want to talk about it." I say, before sitting down and playing with my ring. Sam stays quiet, and returns to his research. The awkwardness is thick and I feel bad for shutting him down like that. He keeps glancing at me, but I do my best to just keep reading, more memories of Estelle's first few hunts with us, romantic nights with Jake, childhood with dad and Kate, Bobby with his funny speech, and Lena always trying to be tough, so much it's smothering me from the inside. Sam grunts while stretching and I feel bad again. "Fine, Winchester. Three questions, about anything to do with me, my family, Lena and our other connections, Jake, whatever. Only three." His head shoots up in surprise, and then his brow furrows.

"Hmmm. I have so many questions, though." He says, one hand running through that ridiculously long hair of his, while the other plays with the pen in his hand. His teeth chew a little on his lower lip, and he huffs, clearly in thought, but not about the case at hand. I turn back to the books, also checking in with Estelle via text message to find she's staying late at the library. Sam occasionally makes little thinking noises to prove that he is nowhere near focused on the case at hand. "Could I ask a couple questions if they are closely tied together? I can answer a few in trade if that helps." He asks. I shrug and give him a 'go ahead' gesture, causing Sam to smile. "What is your mom like? Where is she? What actually happened to your dad?" I bite my lip and hold up my finger to show I'm looking for the right words while a faint memory dances on the edge of my conscious mind....

_The blue ball rolled back into the scarily white room where Mommy was surrounded by machines and wires. Daddy said they were the doctors' weapons against sickness like his gun against the monsters under my bed and in my closet. Kate sat still in a chair outside, eyes ahead, trying to stay strong like Daddy told her to do. I tried to tiptoe past her to get my ball, but she caught my pigtail at the last minute, I stuck my tongue out at her and whined about my ball. She rolled her eyes and we both tiptoed in, Daddy caught us, sitting rights across from the door._

_"Girls!" he had harshly whispered, we both jumped back. "What did I tell you? You mother is sleeping! Take this into the hall." He tossed my ball to Kate and gestured to the door when a hum had us all looking at the big bed._

_"Todd, let them stay." She said, voice weak and weary. "I want to see our girls." Daddy pushed us to the side of her bed where she could see us, Mommy had tears in her eyes...._

I think that was the last memory I have of mom alive, and the only other one was some vague one of her humming and sunshine on the floor. I think all my other memories were just shadows of things Kate has told me about when Mom was alive and I was really little. Even part of the hospital one I am sure has bits and pieces of what Kate remembers as well to it.

"Umm..." I finally say, and Sam slightly perks up, his eyes going to look at mine instead of at the pages he was reading while waiting. "My mom was a hunter, and came from a long line of them. She was a friend of Estelle's mother-"

"Was?" Sam asks, concern in his eye. I nod and then shrug.

"I really have no clear idea of what she was like, I was two when she died. Kate was six. All I know is she had terminal cancer and that she died in the springtime." Sam nodded with a sad look on his handsome face.

"My mom died when I was still a baby and Dean was four." He says. "She was a hunter too, but was killed by a demon she made a deal with. The same demon, Azazel, killed my girlfriend Jessica before I could make her my fiancée and leave this life behind for good." He finishes with sadness still in his eyes, but a posture that shows that he is trying to stay strong.

"I'm so sorry, Sam." I say, placing a hand on his arm. "You didn't deserve to go through that. Nobody does." He smiles sadly and clears his throat. "Now, about my dad? He, Kate, and I ended up on a hunt gone wrong after a band of demons we had caught wind of, a group that really hated a certain duo of hunter brothers especially. Thinking we were this duo, they set of a bomb upon our arrival that broke a few of my father's bones, cut me up pretty good, and left Kate comatose and with a narrow chance of recovery from the trauma to her head from taking the biggest hit, and all the blood loss from the shrapnel lacerations." I say, pausing to take a deep breath. There is a slight gleam of realization in Sam's eyes as to what Kate must have meant by 'too late' and swallows hard as I continue. "Dad I guess got Bobby to send Lena with some of the things needed to summon a demon, and gave himself for Kate. The doctors had told us that she was on a downslide and wouldn't finish the week. He was desperate. After talking with us and Kate was awake, he died in the hallway, right outside of her room's door. Kate knows more than me though. She says that he told her everything, including how the blue cult leader was Jake's and his killer, and was sorry that this was the end of everything..." I wipe at my eyes a little as I notice a small buildup of tears in them. Sam looks grim now. "Was your dad lost in a similar way?" He nodded slowly, his jaw set into a hard line. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said so much. It just all came out, I have held everything in silence.. I'll just shut up." I babble and then end up looking at my hands in my lap.

"It's not your fault, or Kate's." Sam says, the edge of his voice sort of gruff. "My dad traded his soul for Dean's after a terrible car wreck that totaled the Impala and left him dying too. Dad gave up our only weapon against Azazel too, in a trade with that yellow eyed demon." I give him a small smile.

"From the stories I've heard from other hunters, or from people like Jo, Lena, Bobby, Ellen, even Jake; your dad loved and was very proud of both of you. Especially you, Sam. How many hunters can brag about their son, who was bumped from school to school, getting accepted into a prestigious college on a full ride. Even Tammy and myself can't say that, nor our parents about us. You did that and John was always bragging about you and Dean." Sam held an incredulous look on his face for a split second before returning to a curious manner.

"I still have two more questions then?" He asks with obvious interest.

"Hmmmmmm...... Yeah, okay. Sure, but just because you're nice." I say with a playful wink and earning a laugh. Sam's phone rings at that moment with some obnoxious rendition of "Back in Black" by ACDC and he jumps to answer it.

"Hey Dean. It was a demon and a witch? Both of them? Awesome. Cas is going to help you clean up and cover any tracks? Sweet. See you soon, then." As he hangs up his smile broadens. Closing the books on the table and stacking them he looks over and nonchalantly says, "Witch and Demon. Ganked. Case closed." I nod and help tidy up. "So, how about a tour?" Sam says and we head off down a winding hallway. "So, why is Jake Springfield's ashes around your neck?" He asks as we pass by what Sam refers to as the dorm labyrinth, pointing out his, Dean's, Cas', Kevin's, and Charlie's rooms along the way. I pull out the necklace and turn the vial over in my hands.

"I promised I wouldn't forget. When I found him in the warehouse almost totally bled out, he made me promise to never forget, and to never stop loving, and he'd be with me, so this is just physical reminder, and a bit of solace. His, Mom's, and Dad's urns are buried in the cemetery with my grandparents' ashes now, but I decided to keep this." Sam wore a confused look and with a wrinkled brow opens his mouth to ask another question. "Yes, we were together. Very close and were gunning to do like my parents' did with Kate and I, someday at least, where the firstborn child follows a chosen family line's traditions, and the second takes up the other family line." He nods thoughtfully.

"I wish I had Jess's, and my mom burned with our house, Dad and Bobby are buried in the same area. How does that work completely? I mean, like with you and Kate, how did that work?" He sounds mixed up now and we make another turn and go past a room with a big table containing a map, and other rooms containing different equipment. I smile at his confusion.

"Well, as Kate was the oldest, she got to choose which family traditions to take on and ended up taking the Wesson line's, meaning she began training at six and her first hunt was at twelve. She also had to take on a salt and burn first, and then something with silver being the killing medium, then vampires, and finally demons. I was shouldered with my mother's family traditions, so I began training and studying at seven and my first hunt was at thirteen, starting with an exorcism, then a salt and burn, vampire, then silver." Sam nods, seeming a bit confused. "They thought that the level and order of difficulty was good for acclimating new hunters, each family with a different preference of order, but they were designed over time and used. Dad was adamant about that." Sam nods and hums. We step down a staircase into a large storage area, filled with what looks like artifacts and old tools and other things. Sam steps up to two racks and pulls them aside simultaneously, revealing a large circular room with a devil's trap containing a chair and restraints, as well as a cabinet of weapons and a steel table on one side of the room.

"Welcome to the dungeon." Sam says dryly before closing the shelves again and leading us out of the storage space, through a gun range, a gymnasium, up to a viewing room, the kitchen, a main generator room, and a massive garage full of the cars left behind by the Men of Letters themselves. "Well, now that you've seen our home sweet home, what do you think?" Sam asks when we return to the library. I nod and look around the library again.

"This place is amazing." I finally say. "Can I ask you a question?" Sam looks up and nods. "Kate, Estelle, and I once crossed paths with Chuck and he told us about you two upon a few threats from Kate, and he shared everything while shaking under Kate's gun. If you could go back and undo what happened, would you?" Sam looks paler and his brow is wrinkled again.

"I'd seriously have to say no, but then again, I really would have to ponder EVERYTHING." He says. "I have one more question for you." I cock my head and continue to look at him, meeting his gaze evenly.

"Last one." I say. He nods and rubs his chin before beginning to speak.

"What are your top kinks?" He asks with a devilish grin. I nearly spit out the last gulp of my beer that I had taken and can feel my face heating. "If you aren't.... you know..." He says, gesturing with his hands.

"Wow, you know how to make a girl feel comfortable, Winchester. That was definitely a question I would have expected out of your brother before yourself." I stammer. This just got really awkward. Fast. He ducks his head and brushes back his hair, revealing reddening ears.

"You don't have to answer. You're right, that was a bit much. Sorry Caylie. I can understand if you're m-"

"Tattoos. I say. Sam stops babbling and looks at me with wide eyes.

"What?"

"Tattoos. Like this one?" I say pulling the sleeve of my shirt down to reveal an anti-possession tattoo on my right shoulder. "Or other ink markings on skin? Or even their counterpart, the piercing? Oh, and some bondage?" Sam is really red now.

"Oh. O-kay. I was just kinda kidding." He says, recovering slowly. I shrug.

"I am a mission type, though, so I don't just hop into bed with anyone." I say, holding up Jake's ashes to make my point. Sam swallows hard and nods. I am about to ask Sam the same question when my phone rings. It's Kate. “Hey Kate, what’s up?”

"Where the hell are you?" I feel myself pale and Sam has a surprised look on his face, mixed with concern.

"I-ah, I'm just out doing some research." I say, doing my best to sound nonchalant.

"You aren't at the library. I already called Estelle. She has no clue where you went. You left no note, but Tammy did. She also left us something." I mentally chide myself.

"I was helping Sam Winchester, Kate. I was helping him research." She swears and I look pointedly at Sam and hold out the phone.

"Hi Kate. Sorry for stealing your sister. I will return her shortly. I promise. We just finished. Sorry." He calls out. As I put the phone back to my ear I hear Kate grumble something about the fact that it is a good thing Sam at least has manners and I silently chuckle.

"What did Tammy leave?" I ask.

"A dog. German Shepherd. Says his name is Holt and needs a home. Do you want to keep him?" She asks, anger still tinged in her voice, but calmer now.

"A dog?" I ask incredulously. Kate hums and affirmation and repeats her question. "Heck yes we are keeping him! I promise he will not get in your car though, nor make messes of any sort, or go in your room." I say excitedly. Sam gives a jealous look. I smile.

"Fine. Just get over here and take care of him then. He's your problem." Kate says and hangs up. I let out a happy laugh.

"Lucky." Sam says. "What breed?"

"German Shepherd." I reply and grab for mom's journal and my folder. "I guess his name is Holt. Tammy, my business partner dropped him with Kate and says he needs a home."

"Lucky." Sam repeats. "Count me in to dog sit, though?" He asks with puppy eyes. I laugh and nod.

"Of course! Why doesn't Dean let you get a dog?" I ask, obviously able to tell Sam is a dog lover.

"I'd rather not go into that. Why don't I walk you to your car?" He offers, seeing that I'm all packed up to go. Once at my car, Sam smiles. "Thanks for the help, Caylie, and trusting me to tell those things. I'm glad to be a friend of yours.

"Any time Sam." I say, and pull him down into a hug, catching him off guard. "Oh, and I should warn you, I am a hugger with friends and family. Beware!" I say. He laughs as I slide into the Challenger and turn her over. With a wave to Sam I pull away, headed back to the bungalow and what events await me there.


End file.
